Hey, brunette. Its been a while.
I know this might sound crazy and dramatic and the exact subject you would never want to spend your time hearing about..but I need to ask someone about it. I need advice, when everyone else's doesn't help. And so I have come to you; the person I could trust my life with. The person who knows me better than anyone--my best friend.
Here we go:
So. You know that one boy, the one you call centaur? Yeah. Well things are going..fine, I guess, between us. But in all honesty I am stuck right now. And I have no idea what to do. I'm scared, Kara. I'm scared of what could happen, even though I know it probably won't. I'm scared of him, of my parents that want me to cut off anything besides friends with him, but mostly I'm scared of me. I'm scared of my much too willing heart, and how you and I both know that when I give of it, I give it all. Then I end up getting hurt, like you alwlays predict. I just...I don't know what to do or to say, at all. I've talked to him about it, and he said he will support me in whatever I decide. He just wants me happy. He cares, Kara, he really does. I am..this might sound crazy, I am doubting I like him and at the same time liking him more than I should. I tell myself, and him, I wanna like him but I don't want to too much.. So I hold back. Which hurts him and in turn hurts me as well. Then I like too much..and I feel like it is overwhelming so I hold back. The process begins over and over again. Gahhh..my parents are worried about me, immensely. I am too, just not as much. I feel like I know I'll get hurt no matter what, he is leaving within the year, after all. But I don't want to lose him. But I can't lose myself to him either..then I'd lose friends like you..right? I dont know. I'm so confused with myself and my feelings and my heart. Maybe I should just let it all go like my mom said..or maybe I should follow my heart? I don't even know what my heart is saying.
You know me better than most. Can you give advice..even if it is the words I already know you have said in the past. But I cannot create them myself. And you always, always seem to know what to do. Even if it hurts me.
Thankyou for words unspoken, and for being there even when you would rather be any other place in the world than by my crazy, redhead side.
I love you. And I'm so excited for our adventure this week...:)
Love love,,
Redhead.
I know this might sound crazy and dramatic and the exact subject you would never want to spend your time hearing about..but I need to ask someone about it. I need advice, when everyone else's doesn't help. And so I have come to you; the person I could trust my life with. The person who knows me better than anyone--my best friend.
Here we go:
So. You know that one boy, the one you call centaur? Yeah. Well things are going..fine, I guess, between us. But in all honesty I am stuck right now. And I have no idea what to do. I'm scared, Kara. I'm scared of what could happen, even though I know it probably won't. I'm scared of him, of my parents that want me to cut off anything besides friends with him, but mostly I'm scared of me. I'm scared of my much too willing heart, and how you and I both know that when I give of it, I give it all. Then I end up getting hurt, like you alwlays predict. I just...I don't know what to do or to say, at all. I've talked to him about it, and he said he will support me in whatever I decide. He just wants me happy. He cares, Kara, he really does. I am..this might sound crazy, I am doubting I like him and at the same time liking him more than I should. I tell myself, and him, I wanna like him but I don't want to too much.. So I hold back. Which hurts him and in turn hurts me as well. Then I like too much..and I feel like it is overwhelming so I hold back. The process begins over and over again. Gahhh..my parents are worried about me, immensely. I am too, just not as much. I feel like I know I'll get hurt no matter what, he is leaving within the year, after all. But I don't want to lose him. But I can't lose myself to him either..then I'd lose friends like you..right? I dont know. I'm so confused with myself and my feelings and my heart. Maybe I should just let it all go like my mom said..or maybe I should follow my heart? I don't even know what my heart is saying.
You know me better than most. Can you give advice..even if it is the words I already know you have said in the past. But I cannot create them myself. And you always, always seem to know what to do. Even if it hurts me.
Thankyou for words unspoken, and for being there even when you would rather be any other place in the world than by my crazy, redhead side.
I love you. And I'm so excited for our adventure this week...:)
Love love,,
Redhead.
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