karl

we're almost gone,

i just want you to know

i really honestly feel 

you are the most constant star in my life 

and i will never 

ever

forget  you. 

ditto.

hope this works.
never does..
anyway.
i love you.
so excited for this year.

here is a video

Kara is bored on the last day of summer. 

The end.

-Kara

Soft-More

there is a lot of things i could say at the moment. i could yell, or scream and tell you how stupid you're being.

but i won't. i am done.

i am done trying to tell you what you already know. i Do care. okay? whatever thought you had in your mind that made you think i didn't, should be thrown away.

i am sick of you picking at me. your hair is weird. your outfit doesn't match. your eyebrows. your this and that. i am sick of it.

sorry i don't want to be preppy molly like every other girl in utah. sorry I AM DIFFERENT.

ya, totally a rebel..you made out with some ugly senior. whoop-de-freakin-doo. so happy for you.

i should say more. but you can figure it out.

i'm tired of being second choice. of being "the girl with mattie".
there was plenty of reason i went in my whole don't talk to mattie thing.

one of them being that i've never felt like you were being a true friend.

i know i've been blunt, and rude. i couldn't hold it in any longer. ya, you'll probably cry, but you always do that. i have all the right to feel this way. but whatever.
you're still my friend..i'm just not all that happy with the way you have treated me. i deserve better than that, and you know it.


-kara

here ya go baby face.

love love,
kara

separation anxiety? nah.

I just love you, that's all. 

ps. bucket list? let's write it up soon, k?

The Words I Cannot Create.

Hey, brunette. Its been a while.

I know this might sound crazy and dramatic and the exact subject you would never want to spend your time hearing about..but I need to ask someone about it. I need advice, when everyone else's doesn't help. And so I have come to you; the person I could trust my life with. The person who knows me better than anyone--my best friend.

Here we go:
So. You know that one boy, the one you call centaur? Yeah. Well things are going..fine, I guess, between us. But in all honesty I am stuck right now. And I have no idea what to do. I'm scared, Kara. I'm scared of what could happen, even though I know it probably won't. I'm scared of him, of my parents that want me to cut off anything besides friends with him, but mostly I'm scared of me. I'm scared of my much too willing heart, and how you and I both know that when I give of it, I give it all. Then I end up getting hurt, like you alwlays predict. I just...I don't know what to do or to say, at all. I've talked to him about it, and he said he will support me in whatever I decide. He just wants me happy. He cares, Kara, he really does. I am..this might sound crazy, I am doubting I like him and at the same time liking him more than I should. I tell myself, and him, I wanna like him but I don't want to too much.. So I hold back. Which hurts him and in turn hurts me as well. Then I like too much..and I feel like it is overwhelming so I hold back. The process begins over and over again. Gahhh..my parents are worried about me, immensely. I am too, just not as much. I feel like I know I'll get hurt no matter what, he is leaving within the year, after all. But I don't want to lose him. But I can't lose myself to him either..then I'd lose friends like you..right? I dont know. I'm so confused with myself and my feelings and my heart. Maybe I should just let it all go like my mom said..or maybe I should follow my heart? I don't even know what my heart is saying.

You know me better than most. Can you give advice..even if it is the words I already know you have said in the past. But I cannot create them myself. And you always, always seem to know what to do. Even if it hurts me.

Thankyou for words unspoken, and for being there even when you would rather be any other place in the world than by my crazy, redhead side.

I love you. And I'm so excited for our adventure this week...:)


Love love,,
Redhead.